spiritual direction

“Spiritual direction is an intentional form of paying attention to the everydayness of our lives.” -Eugene Peterson

The term “spiritual direction” is a bit of a misnomer. Many modern practitioners have taken to using titles like “spiritual companion” or “spiritual friendship” in an effort to dissuade the confusion. (At Wellspring Lane, we continue to use the traditional terminology because of its consistency within the scope of Christian history.) This practice can be traced to ancient times and can be seen in the histories of all major religions and in many parts of the world. In any case, spiritual direction is a time set apart for intentional listening, in a prayerful setting, with space to allow for silence and slowed down conversation. Traditionally, the person in the role of “director” does not attempt to direct, teach, or guide the recipient (or “directee”). Rather, in the tradition of Christian spiritual direction, the person in the role of director is meant to listen with the directee, and together, discern the presence, love, and work of God in his/her life.

A metaphor might be helpful…

Imagine that you live in a house that is densely surrounded by interesting and intriguing nature- beautiful plants, captivating landscape, and wildlife that seem to invite you into their world. You’ve lived your whole life in this place, with this astonishing view out your window. Imagine it’s the only home you’ve ever known and you’re aware of every nook and cranny inside- but you’ve never ventured beyond your doorstep. This is your home- filled with gifts and regrets, joys and sorrows from over the years. And though you recognize the outdoor scenery well from the comfort of a window view, there are very present realities just outside, waiting to be discovered, acknowledged, and explored. Now imagine that you invite a local nature guide to visit your home and to walk with you through the uncharted terrain. This new companion is with you, not necessarily to tell you where to step, but to draw your attention to the details and signs of life along the way; to accompany you as you become acquainted with the life that’s always been yours and the possibilities of new life yet to be.

This is, a least in part, the work of spiritual direction. 

Your life, like this home, is not unfamiliar to you- you’ve lived in it since birth! And while you’ve likely become quite familiar with many facets of your personal story, each of us has limitations in how truly we can see ourselves without the help of another. 

Spiritual direction is a located space and time for exploring the landscape of the inner life. The thoughts and feelings, the longings and griefs, the joys and dreams that live under the surface of your day-to-day life- these realities have a way of shaping the quality of the life that you’re living, in both obvious and subversive ways. Spiritual direction invites you to venture into that terrain of deeper truth by asking the question “what is God up to in my life?” 

A little yes, but mostly no. 

To be sure, all of these practices can lead us toward growth, healing, and wholeness; each has its place in the journey of becoming who we’re meant to be. Like counseling/coaching/therapy, spiritual direction could be placed under the broad umbrella of “helping” professions. And that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

There are a couple of key differences between these fields. In the setting of counseling/coaching/therapy, there is nearly always some type of goal or agenda present that is shaping and guiding the duration of the work. Also, there is often a sense of hierarchy to the relationship- the “helper” serves as a guide or teacher- and the “client” assumes a posture of being led, taught, or counseled. 

In spiritual direction, however, the nature of the relationship is that of “co-travelers” rather than “leader-follower.” While it is not uncommon for the directee to bring a particular question or situation to explore, that is the extent of having an “agenda” for the session. Where the conversation leads is usually a surprise to both of us and often a great gift. And while a spiritual director might offer ideas for spiritual practices to try or might share particular scriptures or prayers, this is usually at the request of the directee and after a consistent relationship has been established. 

Anyone!

Many people begin spiritual direction because of a particular situation they’re facing. Examples include:

-a significant life change (becoming married or divorced, new parents, a new career role, etc.)

-grief or loss

-discerning a major decision

-experiencing disillusionment or change in spiritual life

Whatever your season of life, wherever you are in your journey of faith, spiritual direction can provide time and space to pay attention to what matters and what God may be up to your life. 

Spiritual direction sessions are typically 60 minutes long, once a month.

Our time in spiritual direction belongs to the directee, so the directee chooses how our time is spent. It’s common to come to the session with an idea of where you’d like to begin- perhaps a situation you’ve experienced or a  question that’s been surfacing recently. Sometimes we begin by naming recent consolations (what’s been life-giving for you lately?) and/or desolations (where in your life have you felt drained or heavy?) Many directees like to begin with a time of silence or prayer, while others come ready to dive in to the conversation. Since there’s usually no strict agenda in this setting, we are free to move through conversation and silence comfortably, with no sense of urgency or demand. 

Here are a few articles that you might find insightful regarding the purpose and history of this practice.

Written by MaryKate Morse, August 2022

https://www.missioalliance.org/spiritual-direction-why-we-need-it/

Written by Richard Foster, February 2009

https://renovare.org/articles/what-is-spiritual-direction

Written by Ruth Haley Barton, 2019 (Part 1)

https://transformingcenter.org/2019/09/spiritual-direction-a-vital-practice-for-discerning-leaders/

Written by Ruth Haley Barton, 2019 (Part 2)

https://transformingcenter.org/2019/10/spiritual-direction-a-space-for-rigorous-honesty-pt-2/

Written by Bill Gaultiere

https://www.soulshepherding.org/what-is-a-spiritual-director/

Written by Dallas Willard, 2002

https://dwillard.org/articles/personal-soul-care